Everywhere you go

I’ve been quiet for the last couple of week because I have been away on holiday. As some of you will have seen on Twitter, I was pretty anxious before we left. I knew my partner had taken great care to craft a trip that would be as different as possible to last year’s ordeal (just the two of us, travelling around Switzerland and getting some exercise on alpine mountainsides, as opposed to a group of ten friends and relatives spending two weeks in a villa together), but the anxiety remained. He’d planned everything, from the flights and the accommodation, to restaurant suggestions. As the trip neared, he encouraged me to feel more involved by reading up on the places we would be visiting to identify things we could do there. This is normally the kind of thing I love, but somehow I just couldn’t bring myself to; in fact, I only started thinking seriously about the holiday when it was so close that I had no choice but to shop and pack.

I’ve been back for four days now, and I’m happy to report that all my fears were groundless. I had a blast. I ate great food, met great people, and saw more mind-blowing scenery than you could shake an alpenhorn at (I had a go on one of those, too, actually). I’m not saying it was easy. It wasn’t uncomplicated, the way travel used to be, before what I am only just learning to call, “the bipolar episode I’ve recently recovered from.” There were still issues around timings of meds. Meals were dominated by trying to get enough fibre to help combat the effect of antipsychotics on my intestines, and by trying to take on board sufficient water (we’d often been hiking, temperatures were in the high 20s and it was humid) that I didn’t have to worry about lithium poisoning. I had to take extra care to avoid sunburn and sunstroke, as quetiapine increases the risk of both these, so I wore a dorky hat and spent 20 minutes in the bathroom every day coating myself with SPF50 before we set off.

Occasionally, I felt overstimulated. I have learned that for me, there can be such a thing as too much beauty. Sometimes on trains, our primary means of travelling around the country, I had to just disconnect from the scenery for a while by reading or closing my eyes. I got to a point where I still saw mountains and glaciers, even when I was lying in bed with my eyes closed and this, along with the heat, affected my ability to sleep. My most difficult day occurred after I ended up popping an extra 25mg of quetiapine in the early hours of the morning, just to try and get some rest. The next day was one of our most complex train journeys, involving two changes, and I did not cope well. I fell asleep everywhere I sat down: on the side of the bed before we left, on the side of a container of flowers on one train platform, on a bench on another, surrounded by an array of bags I was supposed to be keeping an eye on. Each time I boarded another train, I asked my partner, “How long have I got?” All I was concerned about was whether this leg of the journey would be enough for me to snatch a decent nap before our next connection.

But it was manageable, all manageable. The med issues were mildly irritating, but in no way disrupted my enjoyment of the trip. I visited three UNESCO World Heritage Sites: a fantastic ancient library/scriptorium, a unique spiral railway and a high Alp area with glacial lakes. I had an opportunity to experience the peace of mountain pastures as well as the atmosphere in Basel, Montreux, Lucerne and Lugano, sampling the different moods (and foods!) of French, German and Italian-speaking Switzerland. I saw glaciers. I strolled across flower-strewn meadows, crossed little wooden bridges over waterfalls and touched snow fields (snow fields, I was disappointed to discover, feel just like the ice inside your freezer when it needs defrosting). I stayed in a family guesthouse, a tiny family-run hotel, Swiss equivalents of a Travelodge and one hotel so posh it asked us to select from the toilet roll menu in advance. I travelled on double-decker intercity trains, regional trains, glass-sided panoramic trains and little local trains that stopped every two minutes. We went on local buses, trolley buses, trams and PostBuses. We took a coach across northern Italy alongside the lakes. We enjoyed two boat trips and used five cable-cars, one furnicular, and the world’s steepest cog-railway to access our mountain walks.

And I was capable of enjoying every bit of it. The tiny mood fluctuations and the sleep and medication issues probably aren’t going to go away any time soon. But they have become background issues, something to be accepted – like the weather. Everywhere I go, I have to take this microclimate with me. But I can still lead a full life, whatever the weather.

Glacial lake from the Bernina Express

Glacial lake from the Bernina Express

A snowfield becomes a mountain stream

A snowfield becomes a mountain stream

From a bench on the edge of Lake Lucerne

From a bench on the edge of Lake Lucerne


Alpine flowers on a cloud-covered mountain top

Alpine flowers on a cloud-covered mountain top

Oeschinensee - part of an Alpine UNESCO World Heritage Site

Oeschinensee – part of an Alpine UNESCO World Heritage Site


Kandersteg valley - with our traditionally-built guest-house nestled in the foreground

Kandersteg valley – with our traditionally-built guest-house nestled in the foreground


About purplepersuasion

40 something service user, activist, writer and mother living with bipolar disorder. Proud winner of the Mark Hanson Prize for Digital Media at the Mind Media Awards #VMGMindAwards
This entry was posted in Mental health and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Everywhere you go

  1. Katey says:

    Sounds like an incredible time! Congratulations on your recovery. I’m not quite there yet, but it’s lovely to read about your manageable weather. 🙂

  2. Nikki says:

    I’m so pleased you were able to enjoy it. I have looked longingly at the pictures you kept posting on Twitter, feeling only mildly jealous 🙂

    • You are a very generous person, I just feel pure envy when I look at others’ holiday photos! And I read three great books, too – thanks to a secret Amazon benefactor 😉 xxx

  3. I am so happy that you shared this with us all. Showed that even with a strict medication regime you can enjoy a holiday (and grab short naps when needed). The views look stunning and glad you had a great time. Big respectful hugs x

    • I could have snapped photos all day long. Sometimes it was difficult for me to just stop and be in the moment, because I wanted to capture all the beauty I saw. Sometimes I knew I wasn’t being mindful because I was recording it, on camera, or mentally for future memories… C xx

  4. Fi says:

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories and photos with us and you have an absolute treasure of a partner! Priceless.

  5. Mike Crape says:

    So glad you had a good trip and fears were groundless. Sounds like a wonderful retreat to the mountains. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Hi there, gorgeous photos, glad you managed to enjoy it. Best wishes

  7. How wonderful! Thank you for sharing your travel experience with us. I can absolutely relate to that overstimulation feeling when in a new, beautiful place. Knowing when to disconnect is a good thing 🙂 Glad you had a nice time.

  8. The Bipolar Project says:

    I’m so pleased you had a wonderful time. I’m going on a holiday soon and have been worrying a bit about how I’ll manage. You’ve inspired me to just go with the flow a bit more….as you say, you take the microclimate with you where ever you go, and it can still be wonderful.

  9. Linda says:

    Your photos are lovely.

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