Category Archives: Suicidal thought

What do you know, I was there all along

*TW: Although this a positive positive post, it makes graphic reference to past experience of overdose* I am reticent about sharing the good things. I’m more superstitious than I let on, and I constantly worry about jinxing my run of … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Recovery, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

What she was thinking of

  I know I want to jump. I don’t know if I want to die. I feel compelled. I think I might need to be in hospital. I think there might be nothing wrong with me. I am out of Home Treatment for only 8 days before … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Cracked

**TW: suicide, including methods** “How are you doing?” people have been asking. My husband. My friends. My parents. My therapist. The Home Treatment Team nurses. “Good!” I’ve been replying. “I’m doing well. I feel much better than I have done … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, exercise, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Not back on track

***TRIGGER WARNING SUICIDE*** Uh-oh. My rate of blogging is always a sign I could be unwell and here we are, two in two days. I mentioned medication change and aripiprazole (brand name Abilify) almost in passing yesterday. Truth is, I was using … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, hallucinations, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Primary care, Psychiatry, Side effects, Suicidal thought | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Autobiogramophone: six songs of a bipolar life

Here are six songs. I’m not making a story from this list; there is no beginning and certainly no end, just some songs, songs that represent a feeling, a mood state, a moment in my bipolar-filled life. I haven’t gone … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Mental health, Mood disorder, Recovery, Suicidal thought, The arts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Shame

I have never been ashamed of being bipolar, of having a mental health condition of any kind. I’m not responsible for my genes, my childhood, it’s nothing anyone would choose. I am so unashamed that the recent hashtag #imnotashamed caught … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, mental health debate, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Check in, check out

I thought maybe I wouldn’t be here by this time today. Because today was the day. I had a hotel room booked. I was to leave early and be out all day under the cover of an (actual) psychology appointment and … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 61 Comments