Category Archives: Suicidal thought

Crisis? What crisis?

I’ve thought about blogging so often in recent weeks, with several abortive attempts. I considered writing about the therapeutic benefits of having a companion animal – if you don’t follow me on social media, I now have a cat! She’s … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hypomania, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Self-management, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Crisis? What crisis?

Running up that hill

Trigger warning: this post contains descriptions of suicidal thoughts, including methods. Please don’t read on if you are feeling at all vulnerable. I want to run. I am desperate to run. When I wrote my last post my idea was … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Running up that hill

Hospital at home

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts and planning A depressing side effect of being a seasoned blogger with a fluctuating condition is that the archive makes it very clear that I go around and around, having better times, then having groundhog day … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Hospital, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hospital at home

On having a “carer”

By now I am a veteran at completing application/review forms for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) and Personal Independence Payment (PIP). ESA is for people who are too sick to work, while PIP is to cover extra expenses associated with … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, GP, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on On having a “carer”

Revolving door

TW: references to suicide methods I remember the first time I was in hospital I was sitting on the floor chatting with my friend Phil, when he spotted somebody he recalled from a previous admission. “There’s Paul!” he said, looking … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Revolving door

Bed/crisis

In past times when I have been very ill a bed has been found at my local unit – and quickly. I think one was sourced within the day the first time around, and the following day at the start of my … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Hypomania, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Politics and current affairs, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Bed/crisis

Me me me

Dullness warning: I am going to assume you’re at risk of boredom here, not just because I have already posted twice in a week, but also because this is going to one of those posts that’s using writing as therapy in attempt … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Psychosis, Stress, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Me me me

Hurdles

I’m not sure what I am writing here, or why am writing here, other than because I feel awful. I just need to let it out, I suppose. In an ideal world I would have an on-going relationship with a therapist, … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Suicidal thought, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hurdles

What do you know, I was there all along

*TW: Although this a positive positive post, it makes graphic reference to past experience of overdose* I am reticent about sharing the good things. I’m more superstitious than I let on, and I constantly worry about jinxing my run of … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Recovery, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

What she was thinking of

  I know I want to jump. I don’t know if I want to die. I feel compelled. I think I might need to be in hospital. I think there might be nothing wrong with me. I am out of Home Treatment for only 8 days before … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What she was thinking of