Tag Archives: Paranoia

Me me me

Dullness warning: I am going to assume you’re at risk of boredom here, not just because I have already posted twice in a week, but also because this is going to one of those posts that’s using writing as therapy in attempt … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Psychosis, Stress, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Me me me

Mixed mood

I can’t think of a snappier title for this blog, because mixed mood is where I am at and my brain feels scrambled. For four weeks now my functioning has been disturbed, my mood fluctuating but not actually euthymic (normal) at any … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Depression, Hypomania, Medication, Mental health, Mixed mood, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Mixed mood

When you’re strange

I feel strange. I don’t think I’ve been acting particularly oddly so it’s probably not noticeable to most people, but I’ve been having strange experiences that make me feel a stranger to myself. After the Great Banana Skin Episode I … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Medication, Mental health, Psychosis | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Where the damage is done

So much has happened to me since I last wrote a personal post that I find it difficult to link this one to the one before. Filling you in by writing it down now will diminish how very terrible things … Continue reading

Posted in Crisis care | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Back under Their spell

So here I am back dealing with Them. I’ve been almost entirely well now for five months and had honestly started to feel that I was completely in remission. A couple of months ago I reduced my dose of quetiapine … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health, Mental health services | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

I was wrong

I’m not tremendously good at admitting when I’m wrong – indeed, my partner would be overwhelmed with amusement at the suggestion I do it at all. But I’m admitting it now: I was wrong, dead wrong, about being in recovery. … Continue reading

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The dopamine delusion: why I think there’s more to it than brain chemistry

So, a few months ago I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office, telling him about THEM. I was crying a bit, although not as much at the urgent GP appointment two days previously. That was before I’d put my antipsychotics … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Through the Looking Glass

“Alice began to remember that she was a Pawn, and that it would soon be time for her to move.” Lewis Carroll Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There  Last week, I was hypomanic. I knew it, I felt … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Psychotic: what’s in a name?

On BBC1’s One Show Alex Jones recently aired a 2009 quote from Danny Boyle. To be a film-maker, according to Boyle, “you have to be psychotic in your desire to do something.” Around the same time, Caitlin Moran tweeted about … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health, Stigma and discrimination | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I don’t look crazy, I don’t look sad

Seeing me at the family party, you probably think I am fine. I arrive on time with my partner and children, bearing the promised contributions to the refreshments. You see me doing the rounds of hugging, kissing, asking questions, quickly … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments