Tag Archives: Suicidal feelings

Revolving door

TW: references to suicide methods I remember the first time I was in hospital I was sitting on the floor chatting with my friend Phil, when he spotted somebody he recalled from a previous admission. “There’s Paul!” he said, looking … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Trigger, no warning

I feel ambivalent about using the term “triggered” regarding my mental health. It comes from the language around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and refers to being tripped into a flashback, intrusive thoughts or feelings of distress by some external … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Hypomania, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Rapid cycling, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Me me me

Dullness warning: I am going to assume you’re at risk of boredom here, not just because I have already posted twice in a week, but also because this is going to one of those posts that’s using writing as therapy in attempt … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Psychosis, Stress, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Choose your own misadventure

**TW: suicide, including methods** I’m aware that misadventure isn’t the correct terms here; it means something that happens to befall you. The things that might befall me aren’t happenstance, or bad luck, but what else can I say? Am I … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Mental health, Mood disorder, Psychiatry, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Cracked

**TW: suicide, including methods** “How are you doing?” people have been asking. My husband. My friends. My parents. My therapist. The Home Treatment Team nurses. “Good!” I’ve been replying. “I’m doing well. I feel much better than I have done … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, exercise, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Not back on track

***TRIGGER WARNING SUICIDE*** Uh-oh. My rate of blogging is always a sign I could be unwell and here we are, two in two days. I mentioned medication change and aripiprazole (brand name Abilify) almost in passing yesterday. Truth is, I was using … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, hallucinations, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Primary care, Psychiatry, Side effects, Suicidal thought | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

The Shame

I have never been ashamed of being bipolar, of having a mental health condition of any kind. I’m not responsible for my genes, my childhood, it’s nothing anyone would choose. I am so unashamed that the recent hashtag #imnotashamed caught … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, mental health debate, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Check in, check out

I thought maybe I wouldn’t be here by this time today. Because today was the day. I had a hotel room booked. I was to leave early and be out all day under the cover of an (actual) psychology appointment and … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 61 Comments

Discharge

TW: suicidal thoughts I was tempted to call this post “home”, but I’m not, I haven’t even set off yet. I’ve been seen by two nurses from Home Treatment Team (one of whom I know quite well) and officially taken … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, exercise, Hospital, Hypomania, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Escapology

I won’t call Hipster Doc a hipster any more; apparently he was ten years ahead of the face hair trend and is somewhat put out at the bandwagon jumpers. We all know I mean but let’s go with Beardy Doc for now. I … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments