Tag Archives: Suicidal feelings

Groundhog Day

I’m having trouble blogging right now. I want to, I think it would be cathartic, but anything I could write about I have written here before. There is nothing new in my experience. Feels like Groundhog Day. I’m back under … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Whatever I do, I’ll probably be wrong

I’ve just been for a walk. This was a bit of an achievement, given that it took a tremendous effort to get out of bed and dressed, let alone to get myself outside (I didn’t manage to have a shower … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Goodbye Samaritans Radar… hello Facebook report button

There’s no denying that suicide is a very real and serious problem. In 2013 over six thousand people in the UK took their own lives, a tragic figure which suicide prevention programmes rightly hope to reduce. But you might be … Continue reading

Posted in Activism, Social media, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Enough of us both

TW: suicidal thoughts and planning On Monday afternoon I sat in a glass-walled consulting room with my Consultant psychiatrist. Out in the waiting room I had felt so weary, sick to the back teeth of coming to this building over … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Mental health services, Suicidal thought, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

The woman in the crumbling mask

[TW: suicidal thoughts] As Christmas approached I was cautiously optimistic. I’d been doing so much better since starting lamotrigine, feeling like myself for the first time in who knows when. I saw no reason why that shouldn’t continue. Of course … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

The lonely life of the outlaw

***TRIGGER WARNING*** Suicidal thoughts/plans Please take care of yourself and don’t read on if you are feeling at all vulnerable In the six years I was a frontline probation worker I spoke with all kinds of people about all manner … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The seductive whisper of the suicidal voice

***TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts, suicide planning suicide attempt, overdose, physical affects of treatment of overdose*** In September 2001, in the middle of a bipolar mixed episode, an idea came to me. I’d barely slept in a week despite prescribed zopiclone, … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

An impossible ask

I’m going to start with a massive TRIGGER WARNING. This post contains numerous references to suicidal thoughts and descriptions of methods, as well as intrusive thoughts of self-harm. Please don’t read on if this could be damaging to you. After … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health, Politics and current affairs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

The slow beat of the steady drum

[TW: Self harm and suicide] I hardly know what to say, how to articulate myself. The truth is I haven’t really been well since 1st September when I reduced my quetiapine from 600mg-500mg under Consultant supervision. It only took a … Continue reading

Posted in Mental health, Mental health services | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Finding ‘Mike’

I’ll be wearing waterproof mascara tonight. I’ve a feeling it’s going to get emotional. I can’t remember exactly where I was when I first heard about the #FindMike campaign. I do know that one day I said to my partner … Continue reading

Posted in Activism, Film and TV, Mental health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments