Tag Archives: Suicidal thoughts

Running up that hill

Posted on April 14, 2019 by purplepersuasion

Trigger warning: this post contains descriptions of suicidal thoughts, including methods. Please don’t read on if you are feeling at all vulnerable. I want to run. I am desperate to run. When I wrote my last post my idea was … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Running up that hill

Hospital at home

Posted on April 6, 2019 by purplepersuasion

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts and planning A depressing side effect of being a seasoned blogger with a fluctuating condition is that the archive makes it very clear that I go around and around, having better times, then having groundhog day … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Hospital, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hospital at home

On having a “carer”

Posted on April 4, 2019 by purplepersuasion

By now I am a veteran at completing application/review forms for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) and Personal Independence Payment (PIP). ESA is for people who are too sick to work, while PIP is to cover extra expenses associated with … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, GP, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on On having a “carer”

Revolving door

Posted on June 14, 2018 by purplepersuasion

TW: references to suicide methods I remember the first time I was in hospital I was sitting on the floor chatting with my friend Phil, when he spotted somebody he recalled from a previous admission. “There’s Paul!” he said, looking … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Revolving door

Trigger, no warning

Posted on May 26, 2018 by purplepersuasion

I feel ambivalent about using the term “triggered” regarding my mental health. It comes from the language around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and refers to being tripped into a flashback, intrusive thoughts or feelings of distress by some external … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Hypomania, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Rapid cycling, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Trigger, no warning

Me me me

Posted on April 23, 2017 by purplepersuasion

Dullness warning: I am going to assume you’re at risk of boredom here, not just because I have already posted twice in a week, but also because this is going to one of those posts that’s using writing as therapy in attempt … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Psychosis, Stress, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Me me me

What she was thinking of

Posted on August 4, 2016 by purplepersuasion

  I know I want to jump. I don’t know if I want to die. I feel compelled. I think I might need to be in hospital. I think there might be nothing wrong with me. I am out of Home Treatment for only 8 days before … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What she was thinking of

Choose your own misadventure

Posted on July 20, 2016 by purplepersuasion

**TW: suicide, including methods** I’m aware that misadventure isn’t the correct terms here; it means something that happens to befall you. The things that might befall me aren’t happenstance, or bad luck, but what else can I say? Am I … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Mental health, Mood disorder, Psychiatry, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Cracked

Posted on July 19, 2016 by purplepersuasion

**TW: suicide, including methods** “How are you doing?” people have been asking. My husband. My friends. My parents. My therapist. The Home Treatment Team nurses. “Good!” I’ve been replying. “I’m doing well. I feel much better than I have done … Continue reading →

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, exercise, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Look Mum, no antipsychotics!

Posted on July 8, 2016 by purplepersuasion

On (re)diagnosis in 2011 I was recommended quetiapine, but also asked to consider lamotrigene. I was given the chance to go away and read the leaflets and come back the following week, but I wanted to get started. Also my … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Recovery, Side effects, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments