Tag Archives: Suicidal thoughts

What she was thinking of

  I know I want to jump. I don’t know if I want to die. I feel compelled. I think I might need to be in hospital. I think there might be nothing wrong with me. I am out of Home Treatment for only 8 days before … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Choose your own misadventure

**TW: suicide, including methods** I’m aware that misadventure isn’t the correct terms here; it means something that happens to befall you. The things that might befall me aren’t happenstance, or bad luck, but what else can I say? Am I … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Mental health, Mood disorder, Psychiatry, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Cracked

**TW: suicide, including methods** “How are you doing?” people have been asking. My husband. My friends. My parents. My therapist. The Home Treatment Team nurses. “Good!” I’ve been replying. “I’m doing well. I feel much better than I have done … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, exercise, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Rapid cycling, Self-management, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Look Mum, no antipsychotics!

On (re)diagnosis in 2011 I was recommended quetiapine, but also asked to consider lamotrigene. I was given the chance to go away and read the leaflets and come back the following week, but I wanted to get started. Also my … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Recovery, Side effects, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Not back on track

***TRIGGER WARNING SUICIDE*** Uh-oh. My rate of blogging is always a sign I could be unwell and here we are, two in two days. I mentioned medication change and aripiprazole (brand name Abilify) almost in passing yesterday. Truth is, I was using … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, hallucinations, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Primary care, Psychiatry, Side effects, Suicidal thought | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Autobiogramophone: six songs of a bipolar life

Here are six songs. I’m not making a story from this list; there is no beginning and certainly no end, just some songs, songs that represent a feeling, a mood state, a moment in my bipolar-filled life. I haven’t gone … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Mental health, Mood disorder, Recovery, Suicidal thought, The arts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Shame

I have never been ashamed of being bipolar, of having a mental health condition of any kind. I’m not responsible for my genes, my childhood, it’s nothing anyone would choose. I am so unashamed that the recent hashtag #imnotashamed caught … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, Hospital, Medication, Mental health, mental health debate, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments