Tag Archives: Suicidal thoughts

Running up that hill

Trigger warning: this post contains descriptions of suicidal thoughts, including methods. Please don’t read on if you are feeling at all vulnerable. I want to run. I am desperate to run. When I wrote my last post my idea was … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Hospital at home

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts and planning A depressing side effect of being a seasoned blogger with a fluctuating condition is that the archive makes it very clear that I go around and around, having better times, then having groundhog day … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, GP, Hospital, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

On having a “carer”

By now I am a veteran at completing application/review forms for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) and Personal Independence Payment (PIP). ESA is for people who are too sick to work, while PIP is to cover extra expenses associated with … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Employment and benefits, GP, Medication, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, NHS services, Rapid cycling, Suicidal thought, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Revolving door

TW: references to suicide methods I remember the first time I was in hospital I was sitting on the floor chatting with my friend Phil, when he spotted somebody he recalled from a previous admission. “There’s Paul!” he said, looking … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Inpatient care, Mental health, Mental health services, Mixed mood, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Trigger, no warning

I feel ambivalent about using the term “triggered” regarding my mental health. It comes from the language around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and refers to being tripped into a flashback, intrusive thoughts or feelings of distress by some external … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Hypomania, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Rapid cycling, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Me me me

Dullness warning: I am going to assume you’re at risk of boredom here, not just because I have already posted twice in a week, but also because this is going to one of those posts that’s using writing as therapy in attempt … Continue reading

Posted in Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Mental health, Mental health services, Mood disorder, Psychosis, Stress, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What she was thinking of

  I know I want to jump. I don’t know if I want to die. I feel compelled. I think I might need to be in hospital. I think there might be nothing wrong with me. I am out of Home Treatment for only 8 days before … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, Crisis care, Depression, Hospital, Inpatient care, Medication, Mental health, Mood disorder, NHS services, Psychiatry, psychology, Social media, Suicidal thought, Suicide, Therapy, Treatment planning, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,